Don't Be That Guy

Me: "How'd you like to get together for a drink/come over for dinner at my house/take advantage of an opportunity to make out?"

Guy: "Sure, sounds great."

Me: "Friday/next Thursday/pick a date?"

Guy: "Let me check my schedule and get back to you."

. . .

Me, in my brain, 'cause he never got back to me: "Dumbass."


Men, please don't be that guy.  When a woman likes you and asks to spend time with you, there are two options.  Decline gracefully, or make the date.  Girlfriends, same goes for you, too.  I have enough to worry about in my life without stressing over whether you only chose me as a placeholder friend until you could find someone cooler to spend time with.

See?  We'll both get to hold hands and wear fabulous headgear.  Cocktails are in the next room!

One of those days

Weight Lifting clipart
from Clker.com

There are times when you go to the gym on a Monday morning, and an exercise which should be totally doable is really difficult--you just can't make it through all the reps of your sets.  Maybe you're still a little tired from a weekend of fun.  Maybe you're hormonal, seriously PMSing, or due to start your period any minute now and in the early stages of cramping.  Maybe you're just having a slightly off day.  That's okay: lots of factors can contribute to not being quite able to lift as much weight as you'd thought.  The important thing is that you're there, in the gym, working out, building up consistency and executing the exercises you can do with the best form possible.  Know that it'll be better next time.

Of course, maybe you're a misremembering squid like me, and put two 10 lb plates on the bar instead of two 5 lb plates, unintentionally trying to lift rather more than your body expected.  Now I *know* it'll be better next time.  On Friday, when I repeat this workout, I can try it with two 5s and two 2.5s, because obviously my muscles are capable of a little more weight, just not quite the jump I tried to do this morning.

Obviously, I was the dumb belle here.  :)

Valentine's Day Recipe

Follow my train of thought on this one: Valentine's Day features prominently both hearts and chocolate.  Next, the early civilization of the Inca Empire also feature hearts (human sacrifice) and chocolate (cacao beans are indigenous to Central and South America.)  Therefore, since I can't get a sacrificial heart on this short notice, here's a little recipe involving chocolate.

Mesoamerican Chocolate Pudding
(Serves 4 generously, 6 adequately)

2 Tbsp cornstarch
6 Tbsp powdered sugar (it's the sugar I currently have on hand, since I'm out of honey)
Dash of salt
1 egg
2 C milk
2 oz unsweetened chocolate, chopped or broken into chunks
1/2 - 1 tsp ground cinnamon
1/8 tsp powdered cayenne pepper
1 tsp rum or vanilla

Mix the cornstarch, sugar, and salt in a saucepan.  Add the egg and beat well with a whisk so there are no lumps.  Stir in the milk.  Heat over low heat, whisking frequently until the mixture starts steaming, then constantly as it thickens and comes to a boil.  Boil and stir 1 minute, then remove from heat.  Add the chocolate, spices, and rum or vanilla.  Stir occasionally until the chocolate completely melts.  Spoon into serving dishes (I use 6 oz custard cups), press plastic wrap directly against the surface to prevent any undesirable skin from forming, and chill at least 90 mins to 2 hours.

The warm spices combine so nicely with the chocolate, the pudding is not too sweet, and you can pretend you're the high priestess at the top of a pyramid with a chanting populace below.

Eat Smarter, Not Harder

I'd like to introduce a new paradigm in health and fitness: Eat Better, Move More.  [EBMM]

I get rather irked whenever people say that Eat Less, Move More [ELMM] doesn't work for weight loss.  It does.  They also say that it's not about Calories In Calories Out [CICO].  It is.  At least, it always has been for me.  Every time in the past 20 years that I have kept track of my calorie intake to ensure it didn't get out of control and maintained a consistent exercise regimen, I have lost weight, and I have maintained that weight loss.

This all started back in high school: my senior year I kept a food diary (for the entire year) and went for regular walks, took water aerobics for gym class, etc.  In college, the "freshman 15" was never an issue for me because the dining hall had a well-stocked salad bar and great vegetarian options, and the gym facilities on campus were great (weight room, dance studio, indoor and outdoor running tracks.)  Nowadays, I keep track of calories on one of the convenient websites (fitday.com) and I'm fortunate enough to have a gym at work and dance classes twice a week.

Presumably, the reason that it has worked for me is because I realized that "eat less" doesn't mean "put yourself on starvation rations."  Back when I wasn't exercising as much as I do now, my weight loss intake was around 1700 to 1800 calories a day.  I couldn't imagine going on one of those diets--like you see in women's fitness magazines every month--that takes you down to 1200 or 1400 calories a day.  At 5' 7" tall, that's like the food supply in a concentration camp.  Nowadays, since I'm actively trying to build muscle, my calorie intake is more like 2000 to 2100.  That's a very reasonable amount of food.

We can all agree on certain things.  Exercise is good--our bodies were not designed to be stationary all day.  Junk food--processed food high in calories and low in nutrients--is not good for you.  If you eat too few calories, your body will respond by assuming that there's a famine, and slow down your metabolism.

The intent of Eat Better, Move More is to demonstrate that one can consume a healthy, natural, filling diet with a reasonable caloric intake while enjoying pleasurable, dynamic physical activity.  What real foods do you like?  Eat them!  They'll provide calories in the form of protein, carbohydrates, and fat; plus all kinds of micronutrients like Vitamin B12 and potassium.  What sorts of physical activities do you like?  Do them!  Whether you're lifting weights, or walking at sunset, or playing baseball, it'll give your muscles some reason for being, lift up your mood, and maybe even strengthen your bones.

What do you think about the concept of EBMM?

Bones!

OMG, so there I was, scooping the leftover carcass bits out of a crock-pot full of chicken stock, and I decided to get some of the meaty bits still clinging to the bones to add to my dinner.  The skeleton had been boiling for nearly 24 hours, and one of the bones--a humerus, I think--broke in my hand.  First I was just like, "Man, these are some fragile bones," and then I was all like, "Bone marrow!  Awesome!"  Of course, the bones were way too frail for me to adequately extract the marrow with a bamboo skewer, like a chimp poking a stick into an anthill.  So I just crushed them a little and dropped them back into the pot to simmer for another couple of hours.  Just means that I'll have to strain it for real through a sieve, rather than with the slotted spoon, in order to get all the broken bone slivers.  Soon all that delicious fat and iron will be mine!

Secondary Colors

You know how they say, "eat the rainbow"?  Well, for dinner I managed to eat half the rainbow.

Broccoli
Pumpkin
Red Cabbage

Add to that some homemade goat sausage patties, and you've got a delicious, nutritious meal.

Babies: They're Not For Everyone

Obviously, mental health is an essential part of one's overall wellness.  For some reason, this article particularly resonated with me today.  It's by Jill over at www.feministe.us.  I am a committed feminist, so certainly an article on a feminist blog would appeal to me.  With assorted friends and relatives gestating and popping out babies right and left these days, however, I've got more reason than usual to be thinking about babies and their place in my world.

To be clear about this, I have nothing against babies.  I love my friends' children and the children of my kin.  I, personally, do not want nor have I ever wanted a baby of my own.  I'm turning 34 this year.  I'm sure my body knows that it's reproductive days are numbered, yet I have neither felt any impetus whatsoever to reproduce, nor heard any sort of biological clock ticking.

I love this quote, on the benefits of being childless:

 I am also sure that right now, I vastly prefer being able to disappear for a weekend on a moment’s notice, stay out too late on a Wednesday, take an uninterrupted nap, jet off to Paris for two weeks and sleep on a friend’s couch, have lots of sex, have loud parties, meditate for an hour, live in an overpriced small Brooklyn walk-up, have a long brunch, own a white rug, spend all day and all night writing in silence.

I have no sanctimonious women around me right now, thank goodness.  My parents have always been overwhelmingly supportive of me and my choices, and have never pressured me to have kids, so big props to Mom and Dad.  (Certainly statements along the lines of, "Grandchildren would be dandy," are to be thought of more as guidelines than actual rules.)  Then my sister went ahead and had some babies with her fabulous husband, so I am really off the hook as far as the family genes being passed along.  Plus there's a chance that my youngest brother might have kids with his fabulous wife, which would just be gravy as far as that reproduction thing is concerned.

There was a time just last year--a few months, in fact--when I had a sort of understanding with someone who I would have married and had children with.  Then he called and told me that he wanted to start dating someone else.  "That's great!" I said.  "It's just what I wanted for you." I said.  And, yes, his emotional health and happiness really was all I wanted.  Part of me knew I was just a placeholder while his life turned around a bit, but part of me really did think about the possibility of having the same life as lots of other people: sharing a home, having a family, seeing the dad's face light up getting to hold his newborn for the first time.

On the other hand, the only reason that I would have married and had children with this particular fellow is that he was well suited for what I would want in a father for my children.  Good genes in terms of health and looks, an overwhelmingly sweet and patient and helpful disposition, and a willingness to be a stay-at-home dad so that I could continue with my career.

So thanks to all the people around me who understand that the life I'm currently leading is the right one for me.  And to those well-meaning aunts who wonder out loud when I'll settle down, or say that "of course I'll want to have kids one day," I'm going to give you a long list of reasons next time why my life is so awesome.